music right now: 'courage' by sarah polley

so it turns out that i have an acute anxiety disorder. could told you that without seeing a therapist. but whatever.

i feel really weird now. the past few days i haven't felt much of anything. it's like laying in a luke warm pool. that's it. nothing positive. nothing negative. just middle of the road and boring. so i guess this is what it feels like to be normal. there have been times when i've felt like i should feel something but it just doesn't come. no extreme emotional outbursts. no crying. nothing. not even happiness. just contentedness. which is boring.

christ i am losing it i swear.