music right now: '36 degrees' by placebo

so, i saw placebo tonight. IT WAS FUCKING FUCKING AMAZING!. i swear, i loved it to death. the only annoying thing was there was this demonic little cunt (excuse the language) who kept on elbowing her way through the crowd and by the end she was right in front of me. i wanted to light her hair on fire. alas i did not, as that would have been cruel. anyway, there was this really really hot bloke there tonight too. and he kept on looking in my direction, so ya that was flattering. nonetheless no cheating occurred tonight. though i did have permission to shag the lead singer of placebo if i had the opportunity.

the opening band, ambulance was good. a little too california surfer shite for me, but good nonetheless. the lead singer and one of the guitarists were sooooo hot. the lead singer looks like a male version of keira knightly (jules from bend it like beckham), and the guitarist looks like the lead singer of stereophonics but cuter. the drummer also looks like a welsh version of jack black, but he wasn't so attractive. and then there was placebo. i made eyes with stefan at one point and he had a very strange energy in his eyes. creepy but seductive. i wanted to shag him bad lol. alas i didn't.

so, i was thinking about the last time i saw placebo (with idlewild at reds in edmonton two years ago) and i think of how much has changed. so, here is a little portrait of how two years can dramatically change a person for the better:

two years ago, i was:
a) unapologetically rebellious in a mellow sort of way. i didn't slag off my mum or anything, i just hated everything about convention and society in general.
b) a mix between a goth and a raver, minus the make-up (though i did wear black nail varnish) and the glowsticks.
c) still in the closet somewhat.
d) still a virgin and had not kissed a boy yet.
e) way too angry at the world.
f) not the most pleasant person to be around.
g) eternally pessimistic.
h) a bloody twat half the time.
i) depressed, obsessed, repressed, a mess.

today i am:
a) unapologetically me, not ifs ands or buts about it. i am free and i don't care what people think. i bend convention to what suits me rather than falling into a role.
b) a mix between a lot of things. i like the whole punk style and goth style, but mixed with the glam style that le chateau, fidel, space fb, prada, and dolce and gabbana represent.
c) definitely not in the closet. i am queering up this town but good.
d) been shagged 8 ways from sunday but in a safe and fun way. kissed half the boys at unity. well maybe not half them. lots though.
e) lovin' every second of it even if i do get depressed and sad sometimes. along with the good comes the bad.
f) a nice person i imagine.
g) eternally optimistic in a twisted sort of way.
h) a bloody ball of energy with a strange fascination for all things australian, british, russian, male, glam-y, hot, black, etc....
i) spunky, funky, completely happy with me.

so ya, i am in the midst of finding myself and my inner sense of what style i like. i like some of the parking on thursdays in the main room style, with the faux-hawks and glam wear, but not the punk and retro 80s shite look that the strokes and all those bands with 'the' in their name have come to represent. i like the goth style as well, minus all the massive amounts of: a) make-up, b) leather, and c) depressed looks. i like the classy style as exemplified by the clubs on st-laurent minus the pretentiousness and snobbiness a lot of them represent. i guess i'm mixing things in and making them work for me. change your style again, i keep thinking. change your taste in men... placebo couldn't have stated it any better.

... posted at 12:59 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...