I like a lot of films, it's always been a really big part of my life. Ever since I can remember I've been into films; going to the movie theatre was a big part of my childhood and continues to be. There are those films that take me to places in my life that I can't revisit otherwise, and those films that continue to make me think. But there are those few that I come back to and think about. Most of it comes from the combination of images and sounds, how what I'm seeing is linked to what I'm hearing. And that's why some of my favourite films also have my favourite soundtracks.
In my final year of university I saw 'Code 46', which is still one of my favourite films. It wasn't that the film was amazing; it has an alright plot and some plodding dialogue. But it was the combination of the sound and the image, how The Free Association added in these sounds that matched the feeling of the image. Emotion is something that I feel plays on both of these senses, sight and sound, that when it hits right it leaves an indelible impression.
There's another scene in the film where Samantha Morton's character is dancing with Tim Robbins' character and the song, 'Song #6' by Freak Power, comes in and you just feel it. You feel what they are feeling and understand how this relationship between the two works. It just stuck with me. I think of that scene often, not really sure why. I think it's just the connexion between them, the mutual attraction and that they are somehow, inexplicably linked. Fate? I don't know. I don't believe in fate but it's a nice thought.
I love the kinetic energy present in this image. I took it last November on McGill College at the corner of Ste-Catherine, and it has stuck with me and remains one of my favourites because of a) the scale, and b) the movement. You get an idea of how tall the city is, how these massive steel structures tower overhead. This is juxtaposed with the movement of the people below, how they run to and fro, never bothering to really look up.
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posted at 8:49 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
This week has been really busy, and like most weeks, that means that I didn't have much opportunity to post. Now it's the weekend and I feel like I should say something, anything, to sum up the past week.
Tonight I took a walk to Indigo to browse through the books. I had to stop myself a few times from buying anything cos I know that if I had let myself I would have come home with three or four books. I love books, I always have. Whether it's the tactile feel of the pages, the 'new book' smell, or running my fingers over the words, it just feels so comfortable and comforting to me to pick up a book. Some people choose to eat because they believe that the food doesn't judge them. I choose to read because the books don't judge me.
As I walked through the aisles I saw old and young people wandering, picking up books, others sitting in chairs devouring the words. I love that feeling, the feeling of being around people who are stimulating themselves intellectually. People in this world don't do that enough, so when I do see people who pick up books it makes me feel a tinge of hope for humanity.
I've really been wanting to buy a Time Out guide to London, but they don't have the newest edition at Indigo yet. I don't want the last edition because it's probably out of date and when I'm in London I need to have a good guide to help me get around.
Earlier today I was thinking about what it will be like to be living in another country and it kind of hit me how close it is. I've been waiting all my life for this and it's three and a half months away... It's scary but I feel good about it. I've always known I was going to go abroad, from the time I was a small child. And here it is, almost here.
On my walk home I stopped at Starbucks and got a Chai Tea (that always makes me laugh because chai is Russian for 'tea'), and walked slowly through the snowy McGill campus. I don't remember the last time I have seen so much snow. Come to think of it, I've never seen this much snow in Montreal.
As I walked I couldn't help but look at the cross perched on the mountain and how the lights make it look eerie and otherworldly. I love this city, I do. Maybe I will come back, maybe Montreal will be the place I stay, but for now the world is for me to see. When I was at Indigo I came across this travel book called 'The Global Soul: Jet Lag, Shopping Malls, and the Search for Home' that I had wanted to read when I was younger. I almost bought it tonight but held off (I'm not buying anything I can't take with me, and, sadly, most of my books won't be making the trek across the pond). The title of the book has always struck a chord with me. I like the idea of searching for home because it's always been a huge thing for me, searching for a place I could call home. I never felt at home in Alberta, and while Montreal has been home for me for seven years, I have never thought of it as the place I would ultimately end up. Like most anglophones who come to Montreal, this was a stopping place for me. And Montreal has played a huge role in my life, I've been shaped as a person by this city. But it's time to move on.
I'm not 100% sure that this is supposed to represent Alfred Hitchcock, but the colours and vibrancy of the wall caught my eye. This photo was taken last autumn on the Plateau. I went out for a few hours and shot whatever caught my eye, from the trees to posters waving in the wind to the field lights. And what I caught were the parts of Montreal I truly love. Every time I find myself hating this city I go through my pictures and images like this come out and remind me that this is home.
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posted at 7:03 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Over the past few years a lot of things have changed in my life, quite a few of them surprising. The biggest one was when I started eating meat again. It really started in the summer of 2005 when I was living in Toronto. I don't know what it was, the entire summer I felt this gnawing hunger and it built and built and the only way that I could stop it was to start eating meat again. At this point it had been 11 years since I had last ate meat, so to go from being a vegetarian for that long to being an omnivore was huge. I'm not really sure what made me decide to give in, but ever since it's been something that has bothered me tremendously. At that point in my life I had just left school, was in a strange city with no support, and the world was coming down on me. I suppose my morals went by the wayside in an attempt to survive. So that was one of the first things to go.
I should probably qualify this; when I say that my 'morals' went by the wayside, it's not into this amoral individual, it was more like I needed to operate on a different level. When you're in survival mode everything else is secondary - you must do everything in your power to keep yourself sane. I don't know if it was that I had a nervous breakdown or if it was not as dramatic, but it was the lowest point in my life.
Skip forward a few years and here I am, at a really good point in my life. I've managed to get myself where I want, that I can afford to do exactly what I want (which is never something I had before), and I go back to all those things about myself that I lost. I'm not the person I was in university, I'm not the person I was in high school. But the core of what I believe is essentially the same. I believe in humanistic world view and there are beliefs that I hold dear that I cannot afford to throw away again. So I guess to sum this rambling up, I'm back to being a vegetarian. I feel good about it and I feel good about myself.
There are other things that I would like again that I feel that I've lost. I don't feel passionate like I once did. I suppose it comes from being dead inside for so long. But I feel the fire again, so hopefully I'll be able to get it together again. I want to write again like I used to. It guts me to think of how much time and talent I've wasted, but this is my life. I need to stop falling back on those old comparisons I used to make, how I used to measure my own worth and body of work based on the people I idolised and at what age they exploded.
Most of all I guess I just need to be comfortable with me, myself, just this person sitting here. And that's something I think I can actually do.
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posted at 6:47 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Montreal is a really interesting city to live in, but the thing that I find that makes me most happy is the artistic community. This city has become pretty well known for its' music scene, but it still feels like Montreal, like it's still our secret. Each summer there are a tonne of outdoor shows from various artists. Like last summer I saw Montag and Miracle Fortress at a Pop Montreal showcase. It was held in this little park on St-Laurent and the space was enclosed on all sides almost like a private performance space, but outside. I remember sitting in the crowd and just seeing all these faces, these familiar faces, because I had seen them at other shows or hanging out at Casa de Popolo or in stores like American Apparel (one of many hipster havens in Montreal).
At one point I caught sight of a guy I recognised, sitting up in front of me, watching Montag sing 'Going Places'. I had seen him before but it didn't really hit me at the time who he was. I knew his face, he had been working at the American Apparel in Westmount at that point (mainly remembered because two of my friends had wanted to fuck him). Later on, maybe two or three weeks later, I was listening to the CBC Radio Three podcast and I recognised his face on the ID3 art. Turned out he was a local musician. It all came together.
That's what I will always remember about Montreal, how the community comes together. In the English artist community (which is small but strong) you see musicians and illustrators and bookstores come together to help promote each other. It's this egalitarian ideal that I truly love. Things don't always have to be motivated by monetary concerns, rather, we have the ability and the necessity to band together. And isn't that what art's supposed to be, a coming together of ideas and passions?
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posted at 10:37 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
So I'm back after a little break. My old computer wasn't cutting it anymore, so it took me hours to write a simple little post. But I bought a new Macbook last weekend so now I have something that is actually capable of running Blogger. So, things have been fairly boring, work work work. I've been planning on what I want to do with myself. It's a slow and gradual process, but I won't be living in Canada by the end of this year. Kind of a scary thought, this being another huge shift in my life. But unlike the last one (when I moved to Toronto), now I can actually see myself doing it successfully. I keep focusing on what I want and I'll get it. It's been a hard lesson to learn, keeping my eye on the ball, but now I think I've got it figured out.
Anyway I will be posting more on here. I have a tonne of stuff to say, pictures to post, and hopefully a new layout sometime soon (I need to figure out how to use iWeb effectively). But yeah...
Reading: The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism
Naomi Klein God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything
Christopher Hitchens Copenhagen
Time Out City Guides
Seeing: Juno
Jason Reitman Annie Hall
Woody Allen There Will Be Blood
Paul Thomas Anderson
Listening to: Boxer
The National The Fountain: OST
Clint Mansell In Rainbows
Radiohead
