music right now: 'cool on your island' by y kant tori read
I AM DONE! yay! my third year of university is officially over and i am left to sleep and do what i please for the next four months.
on the nasty side of things, i read this article and it makes me even more angry about the state of the world today.
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posted at 4:45 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'the golden age' by beck
today has been puncuated by highs and lows, and i just need to sleep. but i have to study for my final tomorrow. my brain doesn't care, my body doesn't care. i want it over with, i just want it gone.
there is just so much swirling through my mind at the moment that i don't know if i can study. i have to, the need keeps pushing me to the edge just a little more, but i find myself stuck here, listening to y kant tori read (tori amos' 80s band) and not caring. blah, i am gonna study.
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posted at 12:37 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Thursday, April 29, 2004
i have started applying for jobs outside the bookstore. one can only hope i escape out of the hell that it has become.
prospect #1: the mcgill computer store. *fingers crossed* hopefully they will ring me in the next few days.
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posted at 12:18 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
i have become miranda throughout the last season of 'sex and the city', living her life vicariously through a television show. i watched six episodes of 'sex and the city' today. all i think about anymore is that show. all i live, all i expect, all i want is what they want. this isn't healthy. and yet before i go to bed tonight, i know i am going to watch another episode.
why is my life this? why have i degenerated into a huddling mess who sits around and watches someone else live instead of doing it myself?
i don't know why, but yesterday and today i kind of realised i need to totally re-evaluate what i want out of my life. i can't do what i am doing anymore. i can't keep living paycheque to paycheque, not eating right because i spend too much, or having to stay home rather that going out and having fun. i need to go into PR. i can't make a living as a writer in canada, it's virtually impossible. i have been denying that fact forever, but in reality i can be a writer all i want. but it won't be my primary occupation. i want to have a comfortable lifestyle in which i can buy those $450 prada shoes i want or that $200 fendi wallet.
i can't base my love life off the expectations i get from a television show or my preconceived notions of what love is supposed to be. i need to beat that message into my thick skull, but i am a stubborn person. in the end there will not be a prince on a horse to come proclaim his love. there are no grand romantic gestures left out there, they've all been written or put on film. but what little romance i do find will be mine and no-one else's. why can't that be good enough for me? it should. i can't expect to fall in love with the picture in my mind. whomever i do fall in love with and marry is a stranger now, but i will meet them and things will happen. that's an amazing thought, that i will share my life with someone whom i don't even know right now.
the most important thing for me right now is that i have to get my life in order. i can't deal with a husband now. i can't deal with wanting a child now. i need to deal with me now. i am more difficult than either. i think the reason i let my life fall apart at times is because deep down i feel i don't deserve anything better than that. but i should, i should be demanding the best. i think that's what lauro was trying to tell me all along (all though in a more robotic german monotone). i am a great person. i've done some stupid things in the past, but i can't let my past define today or tomorrow. in the end i have to look inside me, realise that i deserve more than i have, that i have all the power in the world to change my situation and put myself where i want. and that's what i am going to do.
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posted at 2:11 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. - carrie (in the final episode of 'sex and the city')
best... show... ever. all i want to is lie in bed and watch it all evening long. and that is what i am going to do (after 'alias' and 'enterprise)
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posted at 6:49 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Saturday, April 24, 2004
music right now: 'go or go ahead' by rufus wainwright
thursday night i went to parking with adam for rob's b-day. it was really fun. i met a whole bunch of people who's names i cannot remember for the life of me. i met rob's boy, who was very cool. we talked about scandinavia, my obsession with iceland and his with sweden, so that is always interesting. it was nice seeing rob again, i haven't seen him in quite a while.
then at like 1.30 adam and i left and went and got milkshakes (because we wanted to hear kelis). unfortunately i totally destroyed his perception of that song. he never realised it was about blow jobs; he thought it was about breasts. oops!
last night was rufus wainwright. i cannot say enough amazing things about that concert. it's not my favourite i have seen, but it's definitely top four (behind: björk with the yeah yeah yeahs and bonnie prince billy, placebo with ambulance ltd., and tori amos with howie day). like britney spears was fun, but this is how you do a concert. i was totally blown away. when he played 'go or go ahead' i was in heaven. i love that song more than i could possibly ever say.
the opening acts were really good. we missed most of shannon mcnally, because the show was set for an 8.30 start but started at 8.00 instead. fuckers. what i did catch of her was really good. she did back-up vocals for rufus for his entire set, so that was good. the second opening act was teitur, who is from the Foroyar (aka the faroe islands). i knew he was scandinavian, i was having a bit of trouble placing his accent. but i was damned close, i was gonna say iceland. he was really good. one particular song, 'poems and aeroplanes' was amazing.
then rufus came on and it was just amazing. he played sooooooooo many songs i wanted to hear. of the four that i wanted the most, 'poses', 'vicious world', 'one man guy' and 'go or go ahead', two were played (the first and the last one). he came back for three encores. during the second, he recorded three new french songs live. the first was by himself, the second with his sister, martha wainwright, and the third was with his mother and aunt, the mcgarrigle sisters (kate and anna). i liked all three. and then he came back and sang 'poses' and 'complainte de la butte' which definitely capped off the show. it was soooooooooooooooooooo good!
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posted at 9:12 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Friday, April 23, 2004
fucking oprah. i cannot believe that she chose 'the heart is a lonely hunter' as her new bookclub selection. carson mccullers must be rolling over in her grave.
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posted at 2:45 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
i may get to see the cure in the late summer/early autumn time period. i will die if this happens. i have loved them for as long as i can possibly remember. yay!
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posted at 8:59 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Monday, April 19, 2004
music right now: 'the quiet things that no-one ever knows' by brand new
done another final. one left. on the 30th. booo.
ok, i think i may be trying to make sense of something that honestly does not make any sense, but what the hell is up with britney's new video? it makes no fucking sense.
it starts off with her being chased by fans and the paparazzi. ok, so we are to take it that the video is about how her life has been invaded by people and she just wants to be left alone? and suddenly stephen dorff is there as her boyfriend. since apparently the song is about her break-up with justin timberlake i guess we are to assume that's what he stands for. and then they get in a huge fight, he throws flowers against the wall and she throws a glass against the mirror. suddenly she is in the bathtub, with blood running down her hand. ok, i understand the whole death symbolism, but when did she cut herself? it can't have been when she threw the glass, she would have noticed before she got into the tub. and then at the end the juxtaposition between images of death and birth, oh my god, has britney gone all postmodern on us? no, i just think that whomever came up with this concept was either: a) smoking a lot of dope, b) or had their original concept slashed [this apparently happened]. i cannot believe the mess that we are left with. maybe i am trying to make sense of something that shouldn't make sense. at least her last video had some sort of coherent story line, despite the total 'alias' rip-off. this video just leaves me wondering 'what the hell?'
apparently she was originally supposed to swallow a bunch of pills and kill herself. i like that concept more. at least it makes some sort of sense. but then again, britney is 'a role model' so we wouldn't want her killing herself in a video, now would we? that is such bullshit. it's okay for her to writhe around on stage pretending to masturbate, but when the subject of suicide comes up suddenly the censors step in. how hypocritical is that? i am not saying that suicide is a suitable alternative, but at least have the guts to make a social statement rather than giving us purile crap.
the song is good though. i thoroughly enjoy it.
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posted at 12:57 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'bring me the disco king' by david bowie
i have had the misfortune of reading three really bad short stories by the same person over the past month. honestly, i don't think of myself highly as a writer, normally i feel like i write shit. but when i read a horrid story i know it. and they have all been horrible. self-indulgent bullshit. apparently said writer applied for the creative writing class. i read that story. it was disgustingly bad. i don't like trashing writers, but this is an exception. said person has the potential to actually be a good writer, but being mired down in mediocrity does nothing. masturbation on paper is all i can think of when reading what i've read. ugh, i hate it. i don't like being so fucking critical, but i am sick of reading shit. i look at what lines the shelves of bookstores and i hate the fact that people like michael crichton, stephen king and dan brown (fucking 'da vinci code') are making millions, and oprah is endorsing novels for the general public. it's a sad state of affairs when her talk show affects the sales of novels, when the amazing ones aren't heard of, are left unread. now she's into the 'classics'. all it serves to do is reinforce the cultural imperialism that such canonical works represent.
can you tell i have been reading too much english theory?
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posted at 12:59 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Sunday, April 18, 2004
music right now: 'tightrope' by kylie minogue
wow, alias was really good tonight. the last few scenes in which the deftones was played over the shots was incredible. i really thought that *spoiler* sloane was dead. good thing he wasn't, i really like his character. it was such an emotionally powerful scene. i am glad that lauren has finally been exposed for the bitch that she is, and i hope they kill her character off quickly. argh, she bothers me soooooooo much!
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posted at 9:15 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'for what it's worth' by the cardigans
i've been listening to the cardigans a lot lately. i find that they are very hit and miss for me. like there are a few songs that i absolutely adore ('erase/rewind', 'no sleep', 'you're the storm', 'my favourite game') but then there are the other tracks on their albums that i cannot stand. and why was 'lovefool' so popular? i hate that song with a passion. but so far their newest album 'long gone before daylight' has held up well over repeated listenings. i may actually have to go and purchase it. but not before i get 'careful what you wish for' by texas. i need that album. it's great.
music change: 'erase/rewind' by the cardigans
i've spent today writing. much like i did last night. it's all i want to do right now, but i have a final i have to study for. how is it that inspiration rears its' head only when i have to study? fuck!
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posted at 6:44 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
i just figured out where i heard the leonard cohen song being played during a sexual scene: it was in 'exotica'. it was the most brilliant usage of leonard cohen i have ever seen.
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posted at 12:55 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Saturday, April 17, 2004
please forgive me if i act a little strange for i know not what i do, it feels like lightning running through my veins, every time i look at you
last night was nice. i met up with people from my creative writing class at 5.45 and we took the 24 bus west to our professor's place in westmount. the whole ride the only thing i could think was how much i really love westmount. it's such a gorgeous neighbourhood. i know, it's really pretentious and WASPy, but still it seems like a great place to live. if i were to stay in montréal i would live there. i could see myself raising children in the area. it's close to downtown, isn't really a suburb, and has a very english vibe to it, which the rest of the city seems to lack (well, the areas i've been to).
we got to claire's place at like 6.30 and it was nice to see almost everyone from the class there. we've all become really close and i love that feeling. i shared a lot with those people this past term, it's nice to know that it wasn't just a class, it's grown into something more.
i spent part of the party just chatting away with megan, who i originally thought i would hate, but i realise i have the most in common with her. we both grew up in shitty suburbs and know the whole ordeal of coming out in that type of community, so it was cool to just chat with her and compare stories. i guess being the two gay students in the class helped us connect on some level.
and then there is max, who i think is one of the most interesting people i've ever met. aside from the fact that he is gorgeous, he's so well spoken and i just want to listen to him talk for hours. i really envy people like him, simply because he's gonna do amazing things in life, and while i know i will too, i can see it happening for him already.
dessert was amazing. iwa brought a pineapple which she used to make pineapple flambée. it was sooooooo delicious.
at the end of the night when i was going to leave, claire ran and got my letter of reference she wrote for me. it's probably the best thing someone has ever written for me. i am sooooooooo happy to have it.
here's the best part:
[Clinton] was one of the most innovative stylists of the 2004 workshop. In the two stories he submitted for critique, he showed curiosity and courage in pushing the boundaries of the short-story form. The experimentation was thoughtful, demonstrating understanding of story conventions, but it was also bold, showing a desire to come up with fresh ways of framing the age-old themes of love and loss.
adam picked me up, and we went back to his place. it was very cool to see his neighbourhood, given the fact that i had never been to côte-st-luc before. he gave me the grand tour of his house, and i met his insane dog oliver. i swear i have never seen a dog that jumps that much. he was really cute.
his parents came home and i got to meet them. his mum seemed really nice, and she kept on coming into the kitchen to make conversation while adam was eating. i think she was doing it just to see what i was like. i hope i made a good impression. and i briefly met his dad, who at first intimidated me a little, but seems like a nice guy.
i saw adam's room. it's so funny, he's told me about all his CDs before, but holy crap does he have a lot. it was insane. i've never met anyone with that many. and he's the first person i've met with more mp3s than me. he has pretty good taste to (aside from his jessica simpson obsession).
we then went to vocalz to meet up with mike and his friends for his birthday party. it was a little weird at first, because i didn't recognise many of the people there, but then things got better. i felt bad for getting there so late, but that was unavoidable. we couldn't find parking downtown (and the spots that we did find wouldn't fit his big ass mercedes SUV into it), so we drove around trying to find a good spot. when we finally did it was like 12.00, so we went to vocalz and met up with them.
i am always happy to see mike. we haven't seen much of each other this term, and things were a little weird when he was dating kyle, but just seeing him happy is a great thing. living in the same building as him next year is gonna be great.
at like 1.45 adam and i left, mainly because i was feeling drowsy from the tylenol i took earlier. adam came up and we just hung out for a while.
something mike said at the bar made me really happy. he was like 'you guys look so cute together'. i've been getting that a lot lately, and it's a nice change. when i was with aaron i got a lot of people telling me 'oh he's soooooo hot' and it felt like they were saying 'what the hell is he doing with you?' i guess i've gotten past that stage. i feel good with the way things are going with us, and hopefully they'll keep going that way.
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posted at 10:15 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Friday, April 16, 2004
go or go ahead and suprise me
music right now: 'go or go ahead' by rufus wainwright
today i had my first of three finals. it went ok i imagine, i honestly don't care at the moment. i saw adam again today. every time i see him things just get that much better. there is something about him, it's just so fulfilling and i feel so happy and comfortable with him. i don't think i've ever had a relationship that has felt quite like this. he says all these nice things to me and i can't find the words to return to him. i want to, and the irony that i am a writer yet cannot find the words is not lost on me, but i just need to work on that.
he came over around 8.00. we originally were going to go to the maisonneuve party tonight, but after watching the american idol results show and then we just hung out for a bit. it's nice, we just laid around, talked, all that jazz. at like 11.30 we decided we needed to find a dairy queen that was open, and after rushing to get there we walked away with blizzards. we then rented 'pieces of april' and watched it before he left.
if you haven't seen that film yet... DO. it is one of the best films i have seen in a long time. i say that often, but this one was just incredible. i don't know how patricia clarkson didn't win best supporting actress for this (damn you renee zellweger!). i am blown away by the talent that woman has. first 'dogville', then this. i still have to see 'the station agent', but honestly she has to be one of the best actors in film today.
i am just happy right now. everything is good. and i get to see rufus wainwright next friday with adam. that should be great :-)
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posted at 2:03 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Thursday, April 15, 2004
music right now: 'this everyday life' by speedstar*
adam and i are going to the maisonneuve party tonight. i asked him right before he was going to ask me the same thing. i want to go because it is going to be a great place to make connections in the industry, and i am really happy that adam is coming along with me. otherwise, i would be totally intimidated by the people there. but whatever, it's going to be a lot of fun. after all, no cover, free food and massages, and crazy art!
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posted at 11:56 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
if you want me i'm your country
i like those little relationship milestones that most people don't count as much of anything, but in the end are always the most meaningful for me. one of them is the first mutual song you have with someone. adam and i have one now: 'you're the storm' by the cardigans. amazing song from a great album. i honestly love it.
i have been thinking about those little songs, and how they affect the way i view a relationship while in them vs. after. i have songs that totally remind me of my exs and sometimes i consciously try to dissociate them from the person they happened to be connected with. my latest is 'the scientist' by coldplay. it was the break-up song when nick broke up with me, and i still haven't been able to disconnect it from his memory. there are other songs i know that will stick with him, but this one i want to be free. it's gonna take hard work.
i remember this one memory from that relationship, i think it was the happiest moment from the entire thing. we walked home from metro after buying groceries and sang 'you and me' by the cranberries on the walk home, while holding hands. it was the smallest thing, but amazingly vivid in my mind.
every relationship i've had has those type of small little moments. they are always the best.
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posted at 12:33 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
i did the scariest thing just now: i submitted my first story to a literary magazine. i hope i am accepted, but writers are rarely accepted on their first submission. now we play the waiting game.
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posted at 10:01 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
i finally found the band that i had been trying to remember for the last few hours: speedstar*. i can't find any more of their stuff on kazaa. i hate that. i hate that kazaa has NO music from down under or any of the other obscure artists i dig up. damn it all to hell!
anyone else know of another p2p sharing thing-y that would have more selection?
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posted at 4:51 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'taken' by stellar*
when was someone going to inform me that bic runga has two sisters who are also musicians? i never knew that her sister is in a band called stellar* (and from what i have heard of them, they are just that). and apparently her other sister pearl is a musician as well. now that's what i call a talented family.
on another (slightly related note), i finally found a store that carries the strawpeople: marbecks. i can order the albums and they will ship them to canada, which is great, but the albums are like 34.00 NZD which apparently is the average price of albums there. at least i wouldn't have to pay the 12.5% tax. but still, that is a little expensive (and shipping is on top of that).
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posted at 4:22 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'pokarekare ana' by hayley westenra
i have this absolute need to watch shortland street right now. too bad it doesn't play on telly in canada. damn! if i was only in new zealand i would have been able to watch it. damn!
i downloaded the haka that is central to my story ('a upane kaupane whiti te ra') from the reading last week. it's very cool to hear a bunch of really huge muscle-y rugby players scream at the opposing side. i'd be scared shitless, that's for sure. and it's also nice to know that i know how to pronounce the title correct (it is pronounced 'a oopan-ay ka-oo-pan-ay feetee tay ra').
and for some reason i am now listening to dame kiri te kanawa. i don't know why i downloaded a bunch of maori songs... but the language sounds cool so i won't be deleting them any time soon.
damn, i still have that need to watch shortland street....
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posted at 3:57 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Sunday, April 11, 2004
music right now: 'don't wanna lose this feeling' by dannii minogue
new album this summer! hurrah! gotta love those crazy minogue sisters, they never fail to entertain me. it will tide us over until kylie gets around to making a new album, i guess.
last night was fun as usual. i always have a great time with adam. i took him for dinner at l'avenue, which i had never been to. the food was really good, but absolutely huge! i swear, they must have thought i was a person twice my size/height, because i could not finish that for the life of me. my stomach is just not that big! the bathrooms in the restaurant were crazy too. there are tellys in the floor with films playing. i was so distracted that i forgot i was there to blow my nose. it was some random roberto benigni film (not 'la vita e bella'). possibly 'asterix et obelix contre caesar'.
then we came back here and listened to music and drank a bit. and then headed out to unity. it was fun until i started getting horrendous stabbing pains in my stomach. it seems that my stomach decided to rebel and i had no say in the matter. so we left at like 1.45 just as the heart burn started. when we got home adam did the funniest and cutest thing. basically he put his stomach to mine and counted down from 15. he was like 'imagine the pain leaving your body' and it actually worked!
i've had so much fun with him over the last little while, it's really been great :-)
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posted at 1:31 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Friday, April 09, 2004
music right now: 'one perfect day' by lydia denker
i have been writing in this blog for two years. two years as of last wednesday. that's quite a feat, i guess. i never thought it would last this long, and i guess i am proud that it has. here's to two more years.
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posted at 12:55 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
i'm going to see rufus! adam and i are gonna go see rufus wainwright on the 23rd. i'm very happy, i can't wait to see him. i've been a big fan for a long time, and now finally i get to see him :-)
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posted at 12:01 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Thursday, April 08, 2004
so tonight i made my entry onto the canadian literary scene with my first public reading. it went much better than expected, minus the flu-related mishap during the reading, but it was certainly something i am proud of. the best comment was what my professor told my aunt who came: 'you're gonna see this guy in print.'
i'm a writer, i know i can do this. now i just need to get back to the pen and paper and breathe. just breathe. then write. i want to have stuff published by the end of summer. whether this is a realistic goal or not i have no idea, but it is what i am shooting for right now.
the best part was the people who came to see me, my public. it was just a small handful of friends (vicky, adam, mikey), and my aunt and her friend eric, but it was nice that i had people who wanted to see me read, and stayed for the entire thing. thank you so much, you have no idea how much it meant to me, you guys are great :-)
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posted at 1:47 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
stole this from mikey's livejournal.
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
'Lanna's fingers undo the black hooks out of sight of the boys.' - from morvern callar by allan warner
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
my webcam
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
part of 'law and order' with adam
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
11.47
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?:
11.39
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?:
nothing really.
7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?
at like 8.00 this evening, when i was coming home.
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
another website
9: What are you wearing?
white mavi jeans and a black long sleeve shirt from le chateau
10: Did you dream last night?
i didn't
11: When did you last laugh?
talking with adam i am sure
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?:
three flags (the UK, pride flag, NZ), a kylie minogue calendar, a kylie poster, various flyers from clubs in montreal, toronto and edmonton
13: Seen anything weird lately?:
not really.
14: What do you think of this quiz?:
ok
15: What is the last film you saw?:
'dogville' with ariane. it was a masterpiece, pure and simple.
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?:
first i'd buy my mum her house on the beach, then i'd go clothes shopping. i have a craving for new prada shoes and a fendi bag.
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i hate the drying effect that showers have on my skin.
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?:
bush wouldn't be in the white house and people dying of AIDS in africa wouldn't be ignored by western nations.
19: Do you like to dance?:
yes
20: George Bush:
well after reading some of 'hegemony or survival' by noam chomsky i have realised that he is the anti-christ
21a: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?:
eilish, or cerys, or olivia, or lucia
21b: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
ronan
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?:
damn right, i plan on it.
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posted at 11:46 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'elegaic' by jon hopkins
i finally got the mp3 of this song, i've been trying forever to get it (i ended up at his website and it was available for download, thankfully). anyway, it's the last song played in one of my favourite scenes ever in 'sex and the city.' it is from the episode 'let there be light', at the end when carrie goes into petrovsky's studio to tell him that she is done with being his lov-a, and then he says there are no other women, just her. then the final line, which i love. she asks what all the stuff he is working on it, and he is like 'it's too soon to tell.' indeed it is...
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posted at 11:50 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
music right now: 'good boys' by blondie
is it just me, or does the new blondie single kick ass or what?!
is it just me, or is american idol painful to watch tonight? they have been butchering elton john songs for the past half an hour and i have been resisting the temptation to just put myself out of my misery and just shut the bloody telly off... but no, it goes on and i have to suffer even more....
it's making my head hurt! i want to vomit!
tomorrow i enter the literati scene with the creative writing class reading. i am excited, nervous, and hopeful that it will go well. it's great, i finally have an audience, i just need to use that to my advantage. prior to it i am going to see the editor of the scrivener so hopefully i will be a fiction editor next year on that. hopefully. tomorrow could be a great day.
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posted at 8:39 p.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Monday, April 05, 2004
you know when you are totally blown away by a song performed by someone unexpected? that's is such a weird feeling. i've been listening to the new britney spears single 'every time' non-stop since the concert yesterday and i cannot believe how solid and utterly amazing it is. normally her ballads are sappy as hell and don't feel like they come from any sort of melancholic place within her, but this song kinda makes me think that maybe there is a little more to that girl then we are lead to believe.
i keep thinking about the concert and it just gets better as i replay it in my head. i cannot believe i am admitting that. it's useless, i like her a lot, more and more i find that her new album is actually really good. at first i could not stand 'me against the music' nor 'toxic' but they have grown on me. and 'touch of my hand' and 'breathe on me' are absolutely ace and very hot. i guess i've come to appreciate the fact that britney isn't going to go away like most pop stars that came out around her time. she's here to stay i guess, madonna can't be wrong after all.
for all those people who watched the juno's: you saw a little glimpse of my hometown. wow, isn't edmonton exciting? blah. they should have been here, damn alberta.
adam and i are officially dating :-) i am happy. he's a great guy and things have been going really well. i get this safe feeling when i am with him, i love that feeling from a guy. he made me a bracelet yesterday! (i think). it has my name on it, and he has one with his name on it. lol i am such a 14 year old girl.
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posted at 12:57 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
music right now: 'every time' by britney spears
well no-one can accuse me of being a britney spears fan, but she puts on a good show. in all honesty i was much more excited for kelis because she is an absolute goddess and i wish i could dance like she does, but britney was great. there were a few really crap parts of the concert (the jazz-ish rendition of 'hit me baby one more time' and 'oops i did it again'), but the rest was really good. the best part was the segment which bordered on sheer pornography. it was fantastic! all in all i was very entertained, but it wasn't the best concert i have seen, it takes its place behind björk (which bordered on a religious experience i swear), placebo, and tori amos.
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posted at 12:41 a.m. by gleefully gloomy. ...
Thursday, April 01, 2004
music right now: 'happiness' by abra moore
i hate fighting with people i care about, and it kind of came to a head today. i just need to decompress i think, it just keeps piling on, and i have no outlet. i haven't written in a little while which is the kiss of death for me; whenever i can't write i go insane. i hate it, writing is my life, it's the only thing i know how to do well and is the only thing i want to do.
i also have the flu, though luckily i think it is only a 24 hour bug. so when i wake up tomorrow i will be fine. i hope. i laid on the couch all day, watching telly. i watched an episode of 'true life' on mtv canada. it was about single parents and at one point i burst out crying. i just don't know how i would deal with that, i'm glad i don't have to face it. my mum is so much stronger than i could ever imagine to be, i don't know how she did it.
i missed going to see adam and his brother sing on karaoclip because i couldn't really walk let alone get down to musiqueplus. but they did great, despite what adam says.
i need to sleep. i need to get my life on track. blah.
i think i may go to humber college for two years after mcgill in a postgraduate programme for creative writing. it would be great for me, i just wish i had done it sooner. i could have gone to concordia instead of mcgill, and who knows what i would be writing today. but at least i figured this out now, and not when i am 40 and regretting my job and life.
Reading: The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism
Naomi Klein God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything
Christopher Hitchens Copenhagen
Time Out City Guides
Seeing: Juno
Jason Reitman Annie Hall
Woody Allen There Will Be Blood
Paul Thomas Anderson
Listening to: Boxer
The National The Fountain: OST
Clint Mansell In Rainbows
Radiohead
